Last Saturday

We were finally able to make it to the coast for a day last Saturday. It was so awesome - and very much needed! It was the first time Eli had ever seen the ocean - his eyes were huge. Addy got to dip her toes in the Atlantic and Eli splashed and played, looking for seashells. Ashley and I got to just relax (even for just a little while) and take in such a vast panarama of unending water.......it was good.




Ashley and I have some friends who have a house on the beach about two and a half hours away. We drove down that morning and spent the afternoon playing in the water, then drove home that evening. It's nice to be that close to the ocean.

"Are you guys settling in?"

Is there really any way to truly settle in? If there is, I don't know it. I guess I feel like you should always be ready to go onto the next task. But, I see where the saying comes from: "Are you guys settling in?" For the most part we are......I mean, our bags are unpacked and we've hung pictures on our walls. But, our hearts and minds still long to be in the familiar.......the comfortable........our thoughts seem to always flow in the general direction of back home - gravitating unrelentlessly toward Arkansas. Don't get me wrong, North Carolina is fine. It has its really great parts (like being close to the ocean) and then it has its really not-so-great parts (honestly, I could name several - and I'm trying to stay positive - so I won't comment on that). But, settling in? I don't know about that.

See, to me, I guess I feel like "settling" means "to lessen" or be complacent when there's something better. Now, I could be totally wrong about this - and to some degree I hope I am. But, stay with me a moment. Complacenecy means contentment and I'm not 100% sure we should ever really be content with where we are in life, in our jobs, in our walks with Jesus. I guess what I'm trying to say is that we should always strive for something else. We should strive to be better at our jobs, or strive to live a better life (not monetarily or materially; but emotionally, physically and spiritually). We should strive to walk closer with Jesus and grow to know Him better and better everyday.

Contentment has its share of qualities, too, though. For example, my daughter Addyson is the most content little baby girl on the face of the planet. She only gets ticked when she's hungry or if she sees her mommy and mommy doesn't pick her up right away. Then it's on - and she doesn't want anything except her mommy to hold her. But, for the most part - she's content. That type of contentment is great; where you don't really need anything, just enjoying life, hanging out - no agenda, nothing to gain or lose. But, in the spiritual realm - am I like Addy? By that, I mean, am I good with everything in my life - except when I feel absent from my Heavenly Daddy? Am I fussing and crying because I'm not being held by the One who made me? The cool thing about that is that we serve a Papa who wants to hold us constantly. His deepest desire is for us to stretch out our hands and long for nothing but His embrace.

It's a great comparison, if you think about it (especially from my stand point, because I get to see it first hand). Picture it: this precious little baby girl is all subdued and calm - playing with her toys or chewing on Griffen - when she hears the front door open and in walks mommy. Now, at first, she sees her mommy from a distance and this huge smile crosses her face and she begins to chuckle in excitement at the thought of being in her mother's arms. Immediately she crawls as fast as her little chubby legs allow all the way to mom's feet. But, mom walks by to set her bags down. Well, that's simply unacceptable! WHAAAAAA! To the point of coughing and hacking, real tears, complete heart-break, bawling and bawling and bawling - until she feels the touch of her mommy's hands grab her and bring her up to her chest where Addy lays her head in exhaustion and exhilaration.

To me - the question shouldn't be aimed at whether one if "nesting" as if in one's home - but rather are you settling in to be content and complacent in the Lord? Technically, (and for those of who you who know me - you also know this about me - everything hinges on technicalities) settling has several meanings. For the purpose of this particular argument we'll use the "resting and nesting" meaning.

I said all that to preface this: If anything - I want to settle into the arms of my Heavenly Daddy - from whom all blessings flow, from whom the River of Life flows, from whom my manna will be provided, and from whom I have been formed and found beautifully and purposefully created. That's where I want to settle.

- The Moads (via NC)!

Rocky Mount, North Carolina

WOW! The Lord truly does work in some crazy-mysterious ways. My family and I are moving from our current residence in Arkansas 1100 miles East to Rocky Mount, North Carolina and accepting a full-time contemporary worship leader's position at First UMC/Rocky Mount. Completely unexpected and out from left field we have been moved by the Spirit to this area. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. On the one hand, I'm scared to death moving my family out of their comfort zone and familiarity (all the while knowing that "fear" doesn't come from the Lord) and on the other hand crazy-pumped about being able to bring the vision God gave us TWO YEARS AGO to life in a community that truly needs it.

July 5, 2006 my wife was in Dallas at a worship conference and I was at home with our son Eli. It was about 11:45 at night when I felt the Lord really speaking to me about worship and what it means to praise Him, how He needs and deserves to be praised and worshiped, and how we are commanded to praise and worship. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced and so I began writing as quickly as I could to capture it all and write it down. Around fifteen minutes later, my wife called from Dallas and said, "Stephen, I really feel like the Lord is speaking to me." So, I replied with, "Well, what did He say?" She began to recite basically everything I had written down.....almost verbatim. That, needless to say, was confirmation to us both that this is something the Lord is commanding us to do.

When she came home from the conference, we spent a few weeks in prayer and fasting and just really trying to seek the Lord's will in all of it. We then took it to our pastor at Heritage and he was pumped up about it. We were met with a lot of resistance when we tried to implement certain parts of it - and so we thought, "well, maybe right now isn't the time." So we waited. Little did we know where it was actually needed was in Rocky Mount, North Carolina. Holy COW!!!!

I could go on and on about the details of this move - but I won't. I'll save it for another blog. So, for those of you who actually read my blog - keep your eyes out for another installment of the life and times of the Moad clan coming soon! Until then "Bless Big and Be Blessed Big!"

-Moad!

Day #11,315

This may actually be the most depressing day I’ve ever had to endure…….and it ain’t over yet. Today, I have been in this world for 11,315 days. Sort of a big day, really. It’s wacky-ridiculous, though, when I look back at the previous ten-thousand and realize that I haven’t done anything I set out to do. Things change – granted; life happens – granted; changes occur – and there really isn’t anything you can do about it except accept them and shoulder on. But, in my human-ness, I really suck at over-analyzing the patterns I’ve rooted myself into by failing to clutch the chances I’ve had to really triumph magnificently in the face of adversity so that I could represent the masses who ever really dare to dream. In laymen’s terms, I wanted to be the success story.

My whole life it seems like I’ve been the underdog. I’ve always wanted to do great things for the Kingdom of God, for my family, for my wife and children. But, nothing ever comes easy for the Moad clan, trust me. If it wasn’t for bad luck – we wouldn’t have any…..just ask one of us. I try to live a Godly life. I‘m in the Word constantly. I fast, pray and fellowship with other believers….I’m on staff at a church for Pete’s sake (by the way….who is Pete?…..Have you ever thought about that?….I mean, seriously, I want to know who Pete is). Sometimes, it just seems like I can’t catch a break. But, the Lord knows best what needs to be done and I trust that – I just wish He’d warn me sometimes before I get myself into situations where my human-ness outweighs my spiritual sense.

Honestly, I was in a grocery store one day after church…….and there was this couple who were extremely ignorant about the here and now. Please understand, by saying ‘ignorant’ I’m not talking trash about them. To be ignorant simply means you are uninformed, or that you just don’t know. So, really, I’m taking up for them – when I probably could be justified by talking trash. But, my church (at the time) was very laid back as far as dress code – I had on shorts, flip-flops, and a sleeveless, tie-dyed shirt. I have earrings and tattoos….which aren’t all that uncommon these days……even in churches (for those of you who don’t know). Now, I consider myself to be a pretty cordial and nice person with a decent amount of discernment. However, the couple in front of me were quite bluntly disgusted by the fact that I was revealing a bit much about myself by showing tattoos and wearing earrings. Now, I know this disgusted them because the husband said to his wife (which, I probably wasn’t supposed to hear, but heard very plainly), “Look at that…….tattoos and earrings. Shoot, he needs to get to church.” So, at first, I was a little offended that they were…..well, offended – but decided to be the bigger person and nicely reply, “I’m assuming that’s where you guys just came from,” as they were dressed in their Sunday best. I was trying to make conversation to inform them that not all tattoo-ed people are heathens. The man looked at me, obviously surprised I had heard him, but even more disgusted that this pierced freak was trying to make contact with him and his wife (like I was an alien or something). Had it stopped there, it probably wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. But, the man came across so arrogant and disrespectful that I couldn’t contain myself. He replied to me, “As a matter of fact we did…..from the First blah-blah-blah-blah-blah Church of…” wherever it was. So, what I thought was done politely (with a hint of sarcasm, I’m sure), I said, “Well, you might ought to go back and repent, ‘cause the Bible clearly states ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged’.” They just looked at me all flabbergasted-like and watched me intently over their shoulders as they high-tailed it through the automatic doors of Wal-Mart. The nerve of those tattoo-ed freak-o’s. I mean, really.

I say all this because I’m not perfect. It’s taken eleven-thousand days of screwing up and making little mistakes and huge-massive mistakes to make me the person I am…..and I wanted (and still want) to be so much more. My whole life, it seems like people have had this mental image of what I’m supposed to be. People who know me and people who think they know me. Is that really fair? I mean….to think you know how someone needs to turn out in life? After I had graduated and returned from college to my home town, I had a teacher that told me they just knew I’d wind up in prison or on drugs. I can’t tell you the times I’ve had people comment in total-shock, “You’re a worship leader?” What gives a person the right to judge others? Who are they to judge me? Shouldn’t they be more focused on themselves? Is it fair to judge others? No….but then again, sometimes it’s needed to get you back on track. When it’s done right, of course. I guess my lesson for today, kids, is that “You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

11,315 days so far and counting.

Be blessed
-Moad!

News....

We received some encouraging news about John......the doctors were able to get his kidneys to take the dialysis and he is beginning to show signs of improvment. Keep up the prayers, as this will truly be a long and rough road for Mary and him.



I also received an email from Clifford Mutwiri (one of my Kenyan brothers that was our foreman for our local crew we hired - mission trip). Our team leader John is trying to get Clifford a visa so that he can visit the U.S. and learn from John how to run and maintain the chicken house and hatchery we built for them. I'm excited because Clifford has never been outside of Kenya, let alone the U.S. So, it's going to be a great experience for him. I plan on having him come over and stay with us a few days, meet my wife and children and prayerfully get to play some music together (Clifford was learning to play the guitar when I was in Meru).



Another bit of info that I am excited about......a few months ago, I helped a guy I know with some vocals on his cd. What's awesome is that I was able to form a relationship with a record producer in the mix (no pun intended). Because Mark (the guy I recorded for) spoke so highly about some songs I had written, the producer gave me a really great price to record a cd full of original songs. So, I'm pretty stinkin' excited about that.



There's a lot going on - and a lot to be thankful for. I'll keep you updated on all proceedings.

-Moad!

That's my boy!

I love being a dad – I love it. My children are what I consider to be my crowning achievement. I realize I didn’t fly solo on the operation……I couldn’t have done it without the love and support of my wife and all (I mean, who else is going to give birth – I certainly can’t). But, of all the stupid stuff I’ve done and ridiculous mistakes I’ve made – I finally got something right. Of course, I give all the credit to that fact that my wife and I are truly blessed by God. But, man……seriously, my wife and I can make some pretty good looking kids.

I look at Eli – and he looks so much like me it’s sometimes scary. He’s much, much smarter than I was at his age. But, he’s more loving and compassionate. He does, however, have a bit of a behavior problem at the moment. But, I think all little boys go through that rambunctious, talking back, pushing the envelope phase where, as parents we want to pinch their little heads off. Yet, I still think boys should be boys. Let them be rambunctious. Let them play rough and be sweaty. Let them become enamored with superheroes. Who says they have to be perfectly well-behaved little gentlemen at five years old anyway? They’re just coming to grips with their own little universe.

If you think about it – it makes sense. Too many times, we (as parents) have this grand idea when we first find out we’re pregnant that “My son will be well-behaved, smart, dress well, and be the most popular child in his school.” It’s not until about two years later that you throw all that crap out the window and just pray you don’t kill him yourself. We get tired of running after them, cleaning mud off of them, telling them “no – don’t stick your hand in that,” or “would you please stop.” Eventually ( and sometimes it takes a while) you get to the point where you finally understand that this young man in front of you is his own little person. He has no personal agenda or plans for retirement. He has no preconceived notions or any idea of what he’s getting himself into. And granted, we want to protect our children the very best we can – but we have to understand that we won’t always be there for them in their time of need. We have to pray for them constantly that they will be the men of God they are supposed to be. But, (and this might sting a bit) God didn’t create men to be popular or dress well. He didn’t create men to go into any situation and just accept it. God created men (no offense, ladies) to provide by the sweat of their brow and to protect their families. He made us analytical and gutsy, fearlessly full of testosterone and adrenaline for a reason. So, let boys be boys. Let them run and jump, climb trees and be adrenaline junkies. It’s what they were created to do. But, let them do it within reason. Give them parameters without walls – boundaries without borders. But, more than anything….give them unfailing, unconditional love and support like there is no tomorrow.

My Eli – I am so proud of him it’s ridiculous. Not too long ago I remember spending what seemed to be forever just looking at him and watching him drink his Sprite and I was smitten – I mean, I am in deep “smit.” I love that boy! He never stops amazing me. That’s what parenthood is all about, I think. Doing the very best job you can to protect them – but letting them learn on their own some things we simply cannot teach them. Of course we make mistakes and they do, too. But what sweet lessons we can learn together if we’ll take the time to spend with them.


Be blessed,
-Moad!

On a day like today....

If there is one thing I do fairly well......it’s ponder aimlessly the meaning of life (among other things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things). Today, I have found myself once again spending a lot of time thinking about life; well, not so much about life as I have about death (not to sound morbid).

Grab some tissue, ladies (and gents)……this one’s gonna gett-cha.

I know this married couple who have an amazing story about life and love, close calls and happy endings any T.V. producer would jump at the chance to make a movie about. But, I know them personally, so I get to write about them and pray that one day I can be as good a man as the beloved beau of our story (which is a true story, by the way).

This man has had medical complication after medical complication - heart trouble, kidney trouble, and lung problems - for many, many years. He was given about a year and a half to live when he met his now wife. As they began talking and then dating, she asked him why he wouldn’t marry her. He replied simply, “I just don’t want you to be burdened by a man who’s just going to die soon anyway.” But, she continued to ask. He simply replied the same. But, she was persistent. She continued to ask and ask and ask. Every time, he replied the same. Finally, one day she told him, “I would rather have one day as your wife, and be a part of you, than to have only just known you for however long we have together.” He was smitten, as was she….and they married. They have currently been married 13 years.

With his medical complications flaring up at various times in their life together, the up’s and down’s only made them grow closer. About six years ago, he went in for a visit to the doctor because of issues he was having breathing. Within the hour, a team of surgeons were called in to operate on his lungs. They were completely filled with fluid.......only the doctors were unable to drain them (as the fluid was more like the consistency of tar). As the doctors had his back cracked open, working on his lungs, his heart stopped. So, the doctors had to flip him over, crack open his chest and work on his heart. For what the doctors said would only take a few hours, now had become eight. As the chief surgeon walked into the waiting room, her heart fell. The doctor gave the wife his prognosis........she was grief-stricken and heart-broken. The doctors were able to clean-out the lungs, but he had coded on the table. They were able to get his heart started but now he was in a coma. For months, with zero brain activity, depressed lungs, and extreme kidney failure, he was given no chance of coming out of it. After months and months of prayers and hospital visits, his wife was told that he would not make it through this and that she should give serious consideration to ending life support. Against her better wishes, she granted the doctors permission to pull the plug. She called the family in to say their good-byes. As everyone left, she went in to his room where she had spent countless hours praying and reading to him and talking to him to say one last good-bye. As she knelt over him to kiss his cheek and whisper how much she loved him, he opened his eyes and grabbed her hand……that was five or six years ago and they have rarely left each other’s side. The doctors could not explain why he came back……but she knew it was because their love had withstood so many storms – and she wasn’t ready to give up on him. That was six years ago.

Today, she finds herself faced with a familiar decision. They are, as I am writing this, in the hospital not even a mile from where we work together….and he is in critical condition. His kidneys have shut down and dialysis isn’t working. His heart is failing and the doctors are asking her to call in the family to say their final good-bye to their father, brother, uncle and friend. She said she woke up this morning with such a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.

If you are reading this and you are a praying person – please pray for this man and his wife and family. He is such a good man (you just don’t meet many men like this one) – and I am honored to have called him friend. She knows there isn’t much that can be done for him – but I know how my God works. John is a walking miracle who shouldn’t have lived as long as he has – but he has!

Lord, we know our ways aren’t always Yours – and I realize You may want John to come home. If that’s the case, so be it – Your will be done. But, I pray for a supernatural healing, in the Name of Jesus. I pray for strength for Mary and their family. Give them peace that really does surpass all understanding and provide comfort for all of us who know him. He is such a good, good man. Regardless of the outcome, we know You have our best interests at heart and are willing to submit to You, our Creator, our Lord, and our King. May Your will be done. In Jesus’ Name – Amen.


Blessings,
-Stephen!