If there is one thing I do fairly well......it’s ponder aimlessly the meaning of life (among other things that don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things). Today, I have found myself once again spending a lot of time thinking about life; well, not so much about life as I have about death (not to sound morbid).
Grab some tissue, ladies (and gents)……this one’s gonna gett-cha.
I know this married couple who have an amazing story about life and love, close calls and happy endings any T.V. producer would jump at the chance to make a movie about. But, I know them personally, so I get to write about them and pray that one day I can be as good a man as the beloved beau of our story (which is a true story, by the way).
This man has had medical complication after medical complication - heart trouble, kidney trouble, and lung problems - for many, many years. He was given about a year and a half to live when he met his now wife. As they began talking and then dating, she asked him why he wouldn’t marry her. He replied simply, “I just don’t want you to be burdened by a man who’s just going to die soon anyway.” But, she continued to ask. He simply replied the same. But, she was persistent. She continued to ask and ask and ask. Every time, he replied the same. Finally, one day she told him, “I would rather have one day as your wife, and be a part of you, than to have only just known you for however long we have together.” He was smitten, as was she….and they married. They have currently been married 13 years.
With his medical complications flaring up at various times in their life together, the up’s and down’s only made them grow closer. About six years ago, he went in for a visit to the doctor because of issues he was having breathing. Within the hour, a team of surgeons were called in to operate on his lungs. They were completely filled with fluid.......only the doctors were unable to drain them (as the fluid was more like the consistency of tar). As the doctors had his back cracked open, working on his lungs, his heart stopped. So, the doctors had to flip him over, crack open his chest and work on his heart. For what the doctors said would only take a few hours, now had become eight. As the chief surgeon walked into the waiting room, her heart fell. The doctor gave the wife his prognosis........she was grief-stricken and heart-broken. The doctors were able to clean-out the lungs, but he had coded on the table. They were able to get his heart started but now he was in a coma. For months, with zero brain activity, depressed lungs, and extreme kidney failure, he was given no chance of coming out of it. After months and months of prayers and hospital visits, his wife was told that he would not make it through this and that she should give serious consideration to ending life support. Against her better wishes, she granted the doctors permission to pull the plug. She called the family in to say their good-byes. As everyone left, she went in to his room where she had spent countless hours praying and reading to him and talking to him to say one last good-bye. As she knelt over him to kiss his cheek and whisper how much she loved him, he opened his eyes and grabbed her hand……that was five or six years ago and they have rarely left each other’s side. The doctors could not explain why he came back……but she knew it was because their love had withstood so many storms – and she wasn’t ready to give up on him. That was six years ago.
Today, she finds herself faced with a familiar decision. They are, as I am writing this, in the hospital not even a mile from where we work together….and he is in critical condition. His kidneys have shut down and dialysis isn’t working. His heart is failing and the doctors are asking her to call in the family to say their final good-bye to their father, brother, uncle and friend. She said she woke up this morning with such a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.
If you are reading this and you are a praying person – please pray for this man and his wife and family. He is such a good man (you just don’t meet many men like this one) – and I am honored to have called him friend. She knows there isn’t much that can be done for him – but I know how my God works. John is a walking miracle who shouldn’t have lived as long as he has – but he has!
Lord, we know our ways aren’t always Yours – and I realize You may want John to come home. If that’s the case, so be it – Your will be done. But, I pray for a supernatural healing, in the Name of Jesus. I pray for strength for Mary and their family. Give them peace that really does surpass all understanding and provide comfort for all of us who know him. He is such a good, good man. Regardless of the outcome, we know You have our best interests at heart and are willing to submit to You, our Creator, our Lord, and our King. May Your will be done. In Jesus’ Name – Amen.
Blessings,
-Stephen!
Our kiddos
Eli and Addy
Monday, April 28, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
A Day in Meru
As I was driving my daughter to daycare this morning, something about it (whether it was the road itself, or maybe trees, or the sunrise, or whatever) gave me this overwhelming feeling of being back in Meru. For those who are actually interested in my blog and read it from time to time but still don’t know – I recently returned from a mission trip to Meru, Kenya (that’s East Africa, just South of the “Horn”). Amidst all the political riots and ethnic cleansing, we were called over there to build a chicken house and hatchery for the Kaaga Methodist Church in Meru. It really was an amazing trip (side note: I plan on typing up my daily journal entries from the trip and posting them on the blog to let everyone see everything that happened to us while over there – they’ll have to be done in segments - so, be on the look-out for those in the coming weeks).
Anyway, this morning’s drive reminded me of one particular day in Meru where we visited the Kaaga School for the Deaf. I don’t know if it was the particular circumstances some of these children or if it was the fact that, as a father, I have been changed. I mean, first and foremost, I was already in awe of simply being in Africa. The scenery in and of itself was just unbelievable – not to mention completely different from what I had anticipated. Going into it, I thought the environment would be like that of Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls - grass huts and desert, with everyone walking around in loincloths. It was not at all like that! There was a lot of poverty – don’t get me wrong – and it was grossly stricken with HIV/AIDS…..but for the most part, Kenya has one of the most stable economies and governments on the whole continent of Africa…..at least until this last election, which saw a ton of bloodshed and almost killed our mission – but God is much, much bigger than political turmoil. But, back to the environment – Meru is located just East of the Congo. So, when I say vibrant and rich with soil and fruit trees, mountains, rain and green, green, green…..it is plush……I’m saying it was night and day different from what I expected Africa to look like - it is absolutely beautiful!
But this particular school was, like I said, a school for the deaf. Now, the schools in Meru go everyday for like three months and then they have a month off, go for three months, and so on. The deaf school, however, was shut-in for the three months the children were there. So, at school, these children thrive – they can communicate with each other and their teachers…most don’t want to go home when school is out. It makes sense why they wouldn’t…….I mean, when they go home – they can’t communicate with their parents or anyone. Their parents can’t understand them and just sort of leave them out of everything and try to just put up with them for the time they are home. And so they are just starved for affection. It was said by the Head Mistress that, the parents of these deaf children are so uneducated about the hearing impaired that they honestly believe if they can hit their child hard enough in the head, they will get their hearing back. So, not only do children have hearing impairments, a lot of them have physical impairments, as well.
Now, walking into the school already knowing that fact just seemed to make the experience that much more powerful. These children were so vibrant and full of life – they loved us and wanted to touch us….they were so awesome. The kids bum-rushed us as soon as we entered and one child specifically, Nicklaz, would not let go of me. He pushed the other kids away from me when they tried to get close to me. He was my special friend and not a day goes by when I don’t pray for him and think of him.
But, this morning for some reason, I was just reminded of that experience and the fact that I was completely broken-hearted for those children. I remember, as we left, I told one of the ladies we were with to tell the children that “In America, we hug to say “I love you.’” And I knelt down and was immediately trampled by children who wanted hugs. I hugged as many as I could and as we were leaving, every child was giving us the sign language symbol for “I love you.” I just broke down – and I’m not a crier. But, I bawled like a little thirteen year-old girl who just got dumped by her first boyfriend. It was brutal.
Why I was struck by that memory (and whatever sparked it this morning), I don’t know. I just know how affected I was that particular day. I don’t know those children like I know my son and daughter – I don’t even know their names (except Nicklaz). But, I know I wanted to play with them like I play with Eli until we all puked and passed out from exhaustion.
I guess the key take-away from that day in Meru (and I remember writing this in my journal) was the fact that I never wanted a day to go by where Eli and Addy didn’t fully know how much they were loved by their daddy. I wanted them to know, without doubt, EVERYDAY that they are my entire life and that I love both of them so much. I wanted to come home and roll around in the back yard with Eli and smother him with kisses and hugs. I wanted to hold Addy in my arms and fall asleep in the recliner with her and kiss her little heart-shaped baby lips. It’s amazing how much we take for granted – or at least, how much I took for granted. I had to go to Africa to understand the needs of my own children – that, in and of itself – is heart-breaking for me.
Be blessed,
-Moad!
Anyway, this morning’s drive reminded me of one particular day in Meru where we visited the Kaaga School for the Deaf. I don’t know if it was the particular circumstances some of these children or if it was the fact that, as a father, I have been changed. I mean, first and foremost, I was already in awe of simply being in Africa. The scenery in and of itself was just unbelievable – not to mention completely different from what I had anticipated. Going into it, I thought the environment would be like that of Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls - grass huts and desert, with everyone walking around in loincloths. It was not at all like that! There was a lot of poverty – don’t get me wrong – and it was grossly stricken with HIV/AIDS…..but for the most part, Kenya has one of the most stable economies and governments on the whole continent of Africa…..at least until this last election, which saw a ton of bloodshed and almost killed our mission – but God is much, much bigger than political turmoil. But, back to the environment – Meru is located just East of the Congo. So, when I say vibrant and rich with soil and fruit trees, mountains, rain and green, green, green…..it is plush……I’m saying it was night and day different from what I expected Africa to look like - it is absolutely beautiful!
But this particular school was, like I said, a school for the deaf. Now, the schools in Meru go everyday for like three months and then they have a month off, go for three months, and so on. The deaf school, however, was shut-in for the three months the children were there. So, at school, these children thrive – they can communicate with each other and their teachers…most don’t want to go home when school is out. It makes sense why they wouldn’t…….I mean, when they go home – they can’t communicate with their parents or anyone. Their parents can’t understand them and just sort of leave them out of everything and try to just put up with them for the time they are home. And so they are just starved for affection. It was said by the Head Mistress that, the parents of these deaf children are so uneducated about the hearing impaired that they honestly believe if they can hit their child hard enough in the head, they will get their hearing back. So, not only do children have hearing impairments, a lot of them have physical impairments, as well.
Now, walking into the school already knowing that fact just seemed to make the experience that much more powerful. These children were so vibrant and full of life – they loved us and wanted to touch us….they were so awesome. The kids bum-rushed us as soon as we entered and one child specifically, Nicklaz, would not let go of me. He pushed the other kids away from me when they tried to get close to me. He was my special friend and not a day goes by when I don’t pray for him and think of him.
But, this morning for some reason, I was just reminded of that experience and the fact that I was completely broken-hearted for those children. I remember, as we left, I told one of the ladies we were with to tell the children that “In America, we hug to say “I love you.’” And I knelt down and was immediately trampled by children who wanted hugs. I hugged as many as I could and as we were leaving, every child was giving us the sign language symbol for “I love you.” I just broke down – and I’m not a crier. But, I bawled like a little thirteen year-old girl who just got dumped by her first boyfriend. It was brutal.
Why I was struck by that memory (and whatever sparked it this morning), I don’t know. I just know how affected I was that particular day. I don’t know those children like I know my son and daughter – I don’t even know their names (except Nicklaz). But, I know I wanted to play with them like I play with Eli until we all puked and passed out from exhaustion.
I guess the key take-away from that day in Meru (and I remember writing this in my journal) was the fact that I never wanted a day to go by where Eli and Addy didn’t fully know how much they were loved by their daddy. I wanted them to know, without doubt, EVERYDAY that they are my entire life and that I love both of them so much. I wanted to come home and roll around in the back yard with Eli and smother him with kisses and hugs. I wanted to hold Addy in my arms and fall asleep in the recliner with her and kiss her little heart-shaped baby lips. It’s amazing how much we take for granted – or at least, how much I took for granted. I had to go to Africa to understand the needs of my own children – that, in and of itself – is heart-breaking for me.
Be blessed,
-Moad!
Thursday, April 24, 2008
You want me to do what.....?
The most fundamental element of worship begins and ends with obedience. If there is one thing the Lord wants from us it is for us to obey Him. So many times, we come into a church building or a concert hall and sing songs about Him and even to Him without ever really being obedient to Him. We spend time listening to pastors preach the Word……we sometimes nod and say the occasional “Amen!” But do we really apply it to our lives?
We all get ourselves into situations where we are faced with a trying decision. On the one hand, we can choose what we know is the right thing to do (although, chances are, it’s going to be a bit of a struggle) or we can choose an alternate path that seems to be the easiest solution (but, for some reason, doesn’t really feel right). All the while, somewhere in the back of our minds, that spark of Truth comes out and hits us like a ton of bricks. We can see the right thing to do but still we choose the alternate path that inevitably leads to our destruction. It happens every single day. There are millions of people going through this very situation as we speak.
See, we can play church all we want to. We can show up on Sunday mornings expecting to possibly encounter God on some level......but don’t…..and when we don’t it’s because we aren’t being obedient to Him. There are also times we come into a worship service not having any expectations of anything at all but end up truly experiencing Him in a way we've never done before.......just to eventually leave the service (or bible study or what have you) and feel that fire slowly start to dwindle. We all know what generally happens next, right? We inevitably revert back to our "old selves" and live lives in direct opposition and disobedience.
Honestly, I see it all the time. I see it with adults. I see it with youth. I see it in lay leaders. I even see it with staff members at times. I've experienced it myself at times. But, in all honesty, one thing we have to understand whole-heartedly is that being Christian DOES NOT mean things are peachy 24/7. That’s hardly ever the case! It's a fairly well-known fact that we, as believers, have occasional seasons of drought and despair where we cannot sense the Holy Spirit in our lives. The droughts I speak of are the "peaks and valleys" we’ve all heard about a hundred times from the pews our whole lives. Therefore, it should be no surprise whatsoever to figure out that being a Christian (especially in this day and age) is difficult. It’s difficult at any age, young or old.
But the most important thing to remember is that when we are in this valley……when we are at our lowest…… that is the most critical time to put into practice the single-most fundamental element of praise and worship – obedience! It's easy to say we are obedient - but do our lives reflect that? I mean.....honestly? When the Lord tells us to get on our faces and worship – then we need to get on our faces and worship. When the Lord is asking us to sing – we need to sing praises to Him at the top of our lungs. If God says dance – we, first and foremost need to consider ourselves blessed, and then we need to dance in joyful victory because of the triumph in our future. When we feel the need to pray – we absolutely must pray and pray fervently to our Heavenly Father, our Creator, and our best Friend, declaring in the Name of Jesus the power and authority we have been given to overcome the wiles of “old red legs!” That is worship! That is power! Use it....and be used by it......that's obedience at its finest!
Thoughts?
Manifest Blessings,
-Moad!
We all get ourselves into situations where we are faced with a trying decision. On the one hand, we can choose what we know is the right thing to do (although, chances are, it’s going to be a bit of a struggle) or we can choose an alternate path that seems to be the easiest solution (but, for some reason, doesn’t really feel right). All the while, somewhere in the back of our minds, that spark of Truth comes out and hits us like a ton of bricks. We can see the right thing to do but still we choose the alternate path that inevitably leads to our destruction. It happens every single day. There are millions of people going through this very situation as we speak.
See, we can play church all we want to. We can show up on Sunday mornings expecting to possibly encounter God on some level......but don’t…..and when we don’t it’s because we aren’t being obedient to Him. There are also times we come into a worship service not having any expectations of anything at all but end up truly experiencing Him in a way we've never done before.......just to eventually leave the service (or bible study or what have you) and feel that fire slowly start to dwindle. We all know what generally happens next, right? We inevitably revert back to our "old selves" and live lives in direct opposition and disobedience.
Honestly, I see it all the time. I see it with adults. I see it with youth. I see it in lay leaders. I even see it with staff members at times. I've experienced it myself at times. But, in all honesty, one thing we have to understand whole-heartedly is that being Christian DOES NOT mean things are peachy 24/7. That’s hardly ever the case! It's a fairly well-known fact that we, as believers, have occasional seasons of drought and despair where we cannot sense the Holy Spirit in our lives. The droughts I speak of are the "peaks and valleys" we’ve all heard about a hundred times from the pews our whole lives. Therefore, it should be no surprise whatsoever to figure out that being a Christian (especially in this day and age) is difficult. It’s difficult at any age, young or old.
But the most important thing to remember is that when we are in this valley……when we are at our lowest…… that is the most critical time to put into practice the single-most fundamental element of praise and worship – obedience! It's easy to say we are obedient - but do our lives reflect that? I mean.....honestly? When the Lord tells us to get on our faces and worship – then we need to get on our faces and worship. When the Lord is asking us to sing – we need to sing praises to Him at the top of our lungs. If God says dance – we, first and foremost need to consider ourselves blessed, and then we need to dance in joyful victory because of the triumph in our future. When we feel the need to pray – we absolutely must pray and pray fervently to our Heavenly Father, our Creator, and our best Friend, declaring in the Name of Jesus the power and authority we have been given to overcome the wiles of “old red legs!” That is worship! That is power! Use it....and be used by it......that's obedience at its finest!
Thoughts?
Manifest Blessings,
-Moad!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Who does that.....I mean, really?
So, of course it never fails when something huge happens in my life I have to wait four or five months to give any sort of update or write about it because my work blocks my blog. Who does that anyway, I mean, really? It's a bunch of pooh!
I've obviously added a picture of Addy.......my little baby girl.......so everyone can see how pretty she is. Hopefully you're able to view the pics (Sandy, Ginger told me you've been reading my blogs and wondering where I've been.......I haven't died or anything - just blocked! - So, hello, and enjoy and I think it's funny that you're actually interested in my twisted and ridiculoulsy stupid thoughts about the dumbest things ever! But, hey, I have to live with them).
Anyway, my wife and I are ecstatic about our newest addition and Eli loves her madly. You should see her face when he speaks to her - it's absolutely the coolest thing in the world.....her little mouth opens with the biggest, widest, and most precious little smile you can imagine. She simply adores her big brother. She's getting big and it's quite depressing, I must say. The wife is already talking about wanting to try and have another. Honestly, in my mind, I'm thinking, "Holy crap......we've got a five-year-old boy who's always into something and has a mouth on him like mine in my teenage years. Not to mention a five-month-old with a double ear infection who's currently ticked at the world and taking it out on mom and dad.......but, hey, why not try for another - at least the practice will be fun." To be truthful, though, I wouldn't mind having another kiddo - they're awesome! But, I think my wife is a bit disillusioned at the fact she now has a little girl she can put bows on and dresses on and paint toe nails and all the girlie stuff. Which I'm all for....at least until she gets to be about fourteen and wearing stuff that shows her butt and stomach - and then it's on! NO dating, NO telephone, NO leaving the house dressed like that!!!! Absolutely NO possible way! Then she'll probably give me her little pouty lip and puppy-dog eyes and I'm sure I'll melt and give in - just like her mother does to me now! It hasn't happened yet, but when it does, I'm pretty sure it's gonna suck something fierce!
But, that's the thing with kids, right? They're supposed to play their parents. I did it......honestly, I still do! My mom loves me way more than the rest of her children - because I didn't get caught playing her. Do I regret it? Sometimes. But the fact that she knew I was getting into trouble didn't seem to stop her from letting me learn for myself. When I messed up (and I messed up a lot) my mom and I talked about the fact that she let me hang myself........and it still didn't stop me from trying to manipulate the system the very next time I could. If I wanted something, I'd pout and give the puppy-dog eyes, and she would give in. At least, I thought she gave in - see, now, as a parent, I really think she knew what she was doing all along. So, really, it was a bit of reverse psychology on her part. Which, that's okay, I ain't mad at her! I'm learning about it so that when that day comes, and Eli and Addy start trying to play me and Ashley, I'll know all about it - and prayerfully be smarter about it - so that they can't figure out that I know what they're up to. But, then again - it could completely backfire on me. Let's hope it doesn't!
Anyway, these are just my thoughts - what are yours?
Have a good'n,
-Moad!
I've obviously added a picture of Addy.......my little baby girl.......so everyone can see how pretty she is. Hopefully you're able to view the pics (Sandy, Ginger told me you've been reading my blogs and wondering where I've been.......I haven't died or anything - just blocked! - So, hello, and enjoy and I think it's funny that you're actually interested in my twisted and ridiculoulsy stupid thoughts about the dumbest things ever! But, hey, I have to live with them).
Anyway, my wife and I are ecstatic about our newest addition and Eli loves her madly. You should see her face when he speaks to her - it's absolutely the coolest thing in the world.....her little mouth opens with the biggest, widest, and most precious little smile you can imagine. She simply adores her big brother. She's getting big and it's quite depressing, I must say. The wife is already talking about wanting to try and have another. Honestly, in my mind, I'm thinking, "Holy crap......we've got a five-year-old boy who's always into something and has a mouth on him like mine in my teenage years. Not to mention a five-month-old with a double ear infection who's currently ticked at the world and taking it out on mom and dad.......but, hey, why not try for another - at least the practice will be fun." To be truthful, though, I wouldn't mind having another kiddo - they're awesome! But, I think my wife is a bit disillusioned at the fact she now has a little girl she can put bows on and dresses on and paint toe nails and all the girlie stuff. Which I'm all for....at least until she gets to be about fourteen and wearing stuff that shows her butt and stomach - and then it's on! NO dating, NO telephone, NO leaving the house dressed like that!!!! Absolutely NO possible way! Then she'll probably give me her little pouty lip and puppy-dog eyes and I'm sure I'll melt and give in - just like her mother does to me now! It hasn't happened yet, but when it does, I'm pretty sure it's gonna suck something fierce!
But, that's the thing with kids, right? They're supposed to play their parents. I did it......honestly, I still do! My mom loves me way more than the rest of her children - because I didn't get caught playing her. Do I regret it? Sometimes. But the fact that she knew I was getting into trouble didn't seem to stop her from letting me learn for myself. When I messed up (and I messed up a lot) my mom and I talked about the fact that she let me hang myself........and it still didn't stop me from trying to manipulate the system the very next time I could. If I wanted something, I'd pout and give the puppy-dog eyes, and she would give in. At least, I thought she gave in - see, now, as a parent, I really think she knew what she was doing all along. So, really, it was a bit of reverse psychology on her part. Which, that's okay, I ain't mad at her! I'm learning about it so that when that day comes, and Eli and Addy start trying to play me and Ashley, I'll know all about it - and prayerfully be smarter about it - so that they can't figure out that I know what they're up to. But, then again - it could completely backfire on me. Let's hope it doesn't!
Anyway, these are just my thoughts - what are yours?
Have a good'n,
-Moad!
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