Day #11,315

This may actually be the most depressing day I’ve ever had to endure…….and it ain’t over yet. Today, I have been in this world for 11,315 days. Sort of a big day, really. It’s wacky-ridiculous, though, when I look back at the previous ten-thousand and realize that I haven’t done anything I set out to do. Things change – granted; life happens – granted; changes occur – and there really isn’t anything you can do about it except accept them and shoulder on. But, in my human-ness, I really suck at over-analyzing the patterns I’ve rooted myself into by failing to clutch the chances I’ve had to really triumph magnificently in the face of adversity so that I could represent the masses who ever really dare to dream. In laymen’s terms, I wanted to be the success story.

My whole life it seems like I’ve been the underdog. I’ve always wanted to do great things for the Kingdom of God, for my family, for my wife and children. But, nothing ever comes easy for the Moad clan, trust me. If it wasn’t for bad luck – we wouldn’t have any…..just ask one of us. I try to live a Godly life. I‘m in the Word constantly. I fast, pray and fellowship with other believers….I’m on staff at a church for Pete’s sake (by the way….who is Pete?…..Have you ever thought about that?….I mean, seriously, I want to know who Pete is). Sometimes, it just seems like I can’t catch a break. But, the Lord knows best what needs to be done and I trust that – I just wish He’d warn me sometimes before I get myself into situations where my human-ness outweighs my spiritual sense.

Honestly, I was in a grocery store one day after church…….and there was this couple who were extremely ignorant about the here and now. Please understand, by saying ‘ignorant’ I’m not talking trash about them. To be ignorant simply means you are uninformed, or that you just don’t know. So, really, I’m taking up for them – when I probably could be justified by talking trash. But, my church (at the time) was very laid back as far as dress code – I had on shorts, flip-flops, and a sleeveless, tie-dyed shirt. I have earrings and tattoos….which aren’t all that uncommon these days……even in churches (for those of you who don’t know). Now, I consider myself to be a pretty cordial and nice person with a decent amount of discernment. However, the couple in front of me were quite bluntly disgusted by the fact that I was revealing a bit much about myself by showing tattoos and wearing earrings. Now, I know this disgusted them because the husband said to his wife (which, I probably wasn’t supposed to hear, but heard very plainly), “Look at that…….tattoos and earrings. Shoot, he needs to get to church.” So, at first, I was a little offended that they were…..well, offended – but decided to be the bigger person and nicely reply, “I’m assuming that’s where you guys just came from,” as they were dressed in their Sunday best. I was trying to make conversation to inform them that not all tattoo-ed people are heathens. The man looked at me, obviously surprised I had heard him, but even more disgusted that this pierced freak was trying to make contact with him and his wife (like I was an alien or something). Had it stopped there, it probably wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. But, the man came across so arrogant and disrespectful that I couldn’t contain myself. He replied to me, “As a matter of fact we did…..from the First blah-blah-blah-blah-blah Church of…” wherever it was. So, what I thought was done politely (with a hint of sarcasm, I’m sure), I said, “Well, you might ought to go back and repent, ‘cause the Bible clearly states ‘Judge not, lest ye be judged’.” They just looked at me all flabbergasted-like and watched me intently over their shoulders as they high-tailed it through the automatic doors of Wal-Mart. The nerve of those tattoo-ed freak-o’s. I mean, really.

I say all this because I’m not perfect. It’s taken eleven-thousand days of screwing up and making little mistakes and huge-massive mistakes to make me the person I am…..and I wanted (and still want) to be so much more. My whole life, it seems like people have had this mental image of what I’m supposed to be. People who know me and people who think they know me. Is that really fair? I mean….to think you know how someone needs to turn out in life? After I had graduated and returned from college to my home town, I had a teacher that told me they just knew I’d wind up in prison or on drugs. I can’t tell you the times I’ve had people comment in total-shock, “You’re a worship leader?” What gives a person the right to judge others? Who are they to judge me? Shouldn’t they be more focused on themselves? Is it fair to judge others? No….but then again, sometimes it’s needed to get you back on track. When it’s done right, of course. I guess my lesson for today, kids, is that “You can’t always get what you want. But if you try sometimes, you just might find, you get what you need.”

11,315 days so far and counting.

Be blessed
-Moad!

News....

We received some encouraging news about John......the doctors were able to get his kidneys to take the dialysis and he is beginning to show signs of improvment. Keep up the prayers, as this will truly be a long and rough road for Mary and him.



I also received an email from Clifford Mutwiri (one of my Kenyan brothers that was our foreman for our local crew we hired - mission trip). Our team leader John is trying to get Clifford a visa so that he can visit the U.S. and learn from John how to run and maintain the chicken house and hatchery we built for them. I'm excited because Clifford has never been outside of Kenya, let alone the U.S. So, it's going to be a great experience for him. I plan on having him come over and stay with us a few days, meet my wife and children and prayerfully get to play some music together (Clifford was learning to play the guitar when I was in Meru).



Another bit of info that I am excited about......a few months ago, I helped a guy I know with some vocals on his cd. What's awesome is that I was able to form a relationship with a record producer in the mix (no pun intended). Because Mark (the guy I recorded for) spoke so highly about some songs I had written, the producer gave me a really great price to record a cd full of original songs. So, I'm pretty stinkin' excited about that.



There's a lot going on - and a lot to be thankful for. I'll keep you updated on all proceedings.

-Moad!

That's my boy!

I love being a dad – I love it. My children are what I consider to be my crowning achievement. I realize I didn’t fly solo on the operation……I couldn’t have done it without the love and support of my wife and all (I mean, who else is going to give birth – I certainly can’t). But, of all the stupid stuff I’ve done and ridiculous mistakes I’ve made – I finally got something right. Of course, I give all the credit to that fact that my wife and I are truly blessed by God. But, man……seriously, my wife and I can make some pretty good looking kids.

I look at Eli – and he looks so much like me it’s sometimes scary. He’s much, much smarter than I was at his age. But, he’s more loving and compassionate. He does, however, have a bit of a behavior problem at the moment. But, I think all little boys go through that rambunctious, talking back, pushing the envelope phase where, as parents we want to pinch their little heads off. Yet, I still think boys should be boys. Let them be rambunctious. Let them play rough and be sweaty. Let them become enamored with superheroes. Who says they have to be perfectly well-behaved little gentlemen at five years old anyway? They’re just coming to grips with their own little universe.

If you think about it – it makes sense. Too many times, we (as parents) have this grand idea when we first find out we’re pregnant that “My son will be well-behaved, smart, dress well, and be the most popular child in his school.” It’s not until about two years later that you throw all that crap out the window and just pray you don’t kill him yourself. We get tired of running after them, cleaning mud off of them, telling them “no – don’t stick your hand in that,” or “would you please stop.” Eventually ( and sometimes it takes a while) you get to the point where you finally understand that this young man in front of you is his own little person. He has no personal agenda or plans for retirement. He has no preconceived notions or any idea of what he’s getting himself into. And granted, we want to protect our children the very best we can – but we have to understand that we won’t always be there for them in their time of need. We have to pray for them constantly that they will be the men of God they are supposed to be. But, (and this might sting a bit) God didn’t create men to be popular or dress well. He didn’t create men to go into any situation and just accept it. God created men (no offense, ladies) to provide by the sweat of their brow and to protect their families. He made us analytical and gutsy, fearlessly full of testosterone and adrenaline for a reason. So, let boys be boys. Let them run and jump, climb trees and be adrenaline junkies. It’s what they were created to do. But, let them do it within reason. Give them parameters without walls – boundaries without borders. But, more than anything….give them unfailing, unconditional love and support like there is no tomorrow.

My Eli – I am so proud of him it’s ridiculous. Not too long ago I remember spending what seemed to be forever just looking at him and watching him drink his Sprite and I was smitten – I mean, I am in deep “smit.” I love that boy! He never stops amazing me. That’s what parenthood is all about, I think. Doing the very best job you can to protect them – but letting them learn on their own some things we simply cannot teach them. Of course we make mistakes and they do, too. But what sweet lessons we can learn together if we’ll take the time to spend with them.


Be blessed,
-Moad!