Hard-shelled plans....

So, if you've read any of my previous posts, you can deduce somewhat accurately that I think about stupid things constantly. I don't mean random things....I mean stupid things. For example, the other day I was watching a bird try to eat a hard-shelled bug (yes, I realize how pathetic that sounds). The bird was having a ridiculously hard time with this bug and the beetle kept flying out of the bird's mouth. I guess it was the wings of the bug that tickled the nose of the bird or something, but every time the beetle flapped its wings, the bird let go, only to pounce on the bug again and repeat the same thing over and over again.

Well, that got me thinking.......why does the bird keep trying to eat the bug? I mean, I'm sure there's a nice thick, fat, juicy, worm somwhere just waiting to be plucked from its home in the dirt. Why the bug? It's shell is hard, tough to chew, and probably tastes like pooh. Why keep trying? I mean, is it a sense of accomplishment for the bird? Is it to finish the task at hand - to conquer the wore out beetle? Is it to perhaps just finish lunch? What kept the bird so persistent on eating that particular bug? And, more than that, what kept the bug from flying away? If ever there was a time to give up on something, I would say that the fifteen minutes that the bird struggled to eat the bug was it. Had it been me, I probably would have said, "forget this junk - I'll have a nice worm or two." But, that didn't happen. The bird just simply would not give up.

You can learn a lot from a bird and a bug, as dumb as that sounds.

The old cliche, "don't ever give up" is a term I'm sure most of us have heard a lot. But, is there ever a time to pack it up and move on? Hey, I want to be a finisher probably more than the next guy. But, sometimes enough's enough, right? I don't know....see, I struggle in this area. Call it pride, call it ignorance, call it whatever you like....but, I like to finish things I've started. And more than that, I want to see the finished product of something I have started with my own two hands and worked so hard on. Needless to say, it's hard for me to give up on things once I've started them. But, sometimes in my spirit, I feel like I've placed all my hopes and dreams into something I've started maybe for my own selfish reasons.

Prime example: I have always considered myself to be a spontaneous kind of guy. But, when I plan on something, I want to see it through. That is why this particular situation was so difficult for me to deal with. I had planned to get a degree in secondary education and teach high school history. It's not that my dream was to teach (it was something I felt I would be good at and was very interested in). I got into teaching to have summers off so my wife and I could travel with our ministry team. The school schedule was the perfect schedule to accomodate what I felt God was calling us to do. Well, I took all the classes, had a great GPA, and did very, very well in all my practicum areas. When the very last thing I had to do was student-teach, I couldn't pass the subject content area of the Praxis II. I took the test five times because I just knew that this was what I was supposed to do. I had no reason for not passing. I knew the content! I know how to take standardized tests. I am a smart person. So, why can't I pass this stinkin' test? I was furious. I had started something - I had to finish it! Needless to say, I never passed that test. I had a very difficult time dealing with that. I felt dumb. I felt like I was letting my family down. I felt like I was letting God down, because I knew this was what God wanted me to do, right? What now? What am I supposed to do? God, I thought you and I were on the same page with this? I thought this was what we had planned for me to do. Maybe not.

I don't always understand why God has us start on a path He never intends for us to finish. Probably to see if we are faithful. But, I do know that His ways aren't always our ways; He really does know best! I think, in the end, each of us have our hard-shelled bugs we plan to eat - we will not be stopped, until we have to be stopped! It's easy to see, NOW, looking back on it that I am not meant to teach at this point in time of my life. Does that mean I will never teach? No! It just means not right now. God has something He needs for me to do somewhere else. I just have to be willing to step toward the path He lays out and continue to keep stepping until he directs me toward another path. I think it's really about diligence, remaining faithful in our continuing effort to do what we feel God is telling us to do. If it really is from God, it will prosper. If it is not of God, He will let us know!

-What are your thoughts?